Sometimes, I talk to some people and after some time, I detect that I don’t really care much about their objectives in life. On occasion, they are doing horribly by the standards I care about, or are just not that interesting to me. Picture Cristiano Ronaldo, football star, who is doing terribly by my standards. I would consider becoming more like him to be losing at life. But presumably CR7 has enough self-esteem that he would just shrug. He is winning at life according to his criteria, I’d wager.
But people don’t usually shrug. Instead, many choose to take offense when I decrease my probability that talking to them for longer will enrich my life. People also object to using probabilities: after I tried to connect two girls who were weird in the same way, I was told that “attraction is more subtle than that”.
Yes, attraction is more complicated than that, but I’d still be delighted if someone came up to be and introduced me to someone who was weird in the same ways as I am. Anyways, I suppose I should get myself some subtlety & social skills.